I had a conversation last night with my daughter-in-law and her mom, who is visiting from Long Island. We took to reminiscing about days gone by, strike that – days zoomed by, and how in a blink - we're 57 years old, goin' on 58 this year! WTF! I can remember high school like it was yesterday and all of the hopes and dreams I had as a teenager coming into my own, getting ready to 'flower' and burst forward into my life.
We got to talking about our life lessons. What we know now. Hindsight. What words of wisdom we would tell our younger selves now that we have a few miles under our belt. We had a few laughs for sure. Some jaw dropping stories and realizations on how the hell we made it out of teenage alive!
We boiled down a lot of our own wisdom last night.
I realized that the most important thing I would have done sooner than later in my life was to seek out 'definitions' from – most importantly – within. Definitions to words that were getting all the hype of positivity, the american dreamer words, the 'what a person should be striving for in life' type stuff.
Take a simple word like 'happy'. Should be a no brainer, right? That's how its delivered. Everybody throws that word around like they were scattering chicken feed! Isn't it true that most of us say, or have said at some point in our lives, "I just want to be happy, that's all I want. Just to be happy, damn it!" I did. I've for sure said it thru all of the hard times in my life. Head in my hand like it was just a simple, simple request. Like I really knew what I meant. I really thought it did. And so do most people.
Of course the implication – 'I just want to be happy' – already assumes you know what the hell that is and what it looks like, right?
Most people (and I know I risk the generalization here, but just work with me for a moment) assume (oh how I hate that word) they know what that is. Just the word 'happy' alone implies something in our head that we should already understand. I'm guessing it shows up in our minds like a Seinfeld episode of that implied knowledge... "I just want to be happy, yada yada yada, and everything will be fine!"
Most of us haven't taken the time to define happy for ourselves. What does 'happy' actually mean to me and more importantly, what does it need to look like when it shows up? Sounds simple enough. Yet, as I talk to more and more people and I ask 'how do you define happy and what does it look like in your life?' I get met with the 'deer in headlights' look, a few 'um, um, umms', and an 'I-wish-I-had-a-V-8' gaze. Most of us haven't thought about that lately, if ever!
'Happy' gets lumped into the realm of all mystical words that we all should just know about! After all, Mom and Dad told me, "We just want you to be happy, dear".
We walk away, our thoughts cloudy, hazey – thinking we should know just what the hell that is just because our parents have bestowed their hopes and wishes on us for our future.
So here we are, running around chasing 'happy' and we don't even know what the hell it looks like!
Where the hell is my Happy??
Tell me, if you had to describe a loved one who was missing, wouldn't you be as specific as you could? Wouldn't you want every chance of every moment of that loved one being found? (Ok, don't daydream here...I said LOVED one). You would even describe what they were last wearing; even dig up some recent pictures of you both together! Detailed characteristics, traits, scars, quirks, and stories of why they are this great loved one, to YOU!
Hell yes, you would!
So, if your 'Happy' is missing, get out there and go find it!
Describe your Happy! First to you and then to anyone who will listen! What it looks like, when it was last seen! And don't forget to include any recent pictures, stories, quirks, hopes and dreams you and your Happy promised each other!
Now paint a vivid picture. Paint it very specific. Get that picture in your mind, lock and load and then go get it!
Run Forest, Run!
Pssst, would NOW be a good time?
Make the decision that will move you forward.
Click 'Contact' and reach out to me. We'll get on a call and figure it all out.
Remember, I promised you, we'll do this life together. Until. It's less scary that way!
Oh, check this out, definitions compliments of Merriam-Webster ...
adjective hap·py \ˈha-pē\
Simple Definition of happy
Popularity: Top 10% of words
: feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.
: showing or causing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment
: pleased or glad about a particular situation, event, etc.
Examples of happy (heard any of these before?)
She was a very happy child.
You don't look happy. What's the problem?
We're all one big, happy family here.
I'd do anything to make her happy.
I could hear the children's happy laughter in the other room.
She had a very happy childhood.
They've had a very happy marriage.
I was glad the movie had a happy ending.
We are so happy that you were able to come to the party.
They are not at all happy about the rise in taxes.
Rhymes with happy
crappy, flappy, gappy, nappy, pappy, sappy, scrappy, snappy, strappy, zappy