Good Day Beautiful Soul!
I'm sure you've heard this saying . . .
Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans!
(Thank you John Lennon, you Beautiful, Beautiful Boy!)
It's all rainbows and unicorns when things are going great, right?!
Love days like that!
But how do you handle it when what happens to you makes you unhappy or uncomfortable?
How do you make yourself (or it) feel better?
The concepts of controlling our lives and taking personal responsibility for everything that happens to us is not a pill that is easily swallowed.
With greater responsibility comes great power.
Breathe that in a moment.
I had to.
Changing our mindset about being responsible for everything in our life is extremely powerful!
As a control freak, this gives me the MOST control of my life and what happens.
And. . . I don't have to check in with ANYONE on what I want for MY life.
So being-responsible-for-everything-in-my-life bodes best for MY best outcome.
Again, easier said than done! Unless you are already 'doing'!
There are two mindset concepts [I feel] at play here:
– External Mindset
– Internal Mindset
An external mindset is one that blames external forces for the things that happen to you in your life.
This is a mindset that most people have. It contains language like: 'it's not my fault, there's nothing I could have done' or 'how could you blame me, look at what happened!' or any other finger-pointing, deflecting language.
This type of language shifts the responsibility of what happens to us onto other people, places or things.
The external mindset can feel like we 'save face', mitigate shame, and can often show up as an EXCUSE for what is happening in our lives.
The consequence of this mindset is giving up control to circumstances and allowing those circumstances to dictate large aspects of your life.
This is such a dis-empowering mindset.
Although it SEEMS much easier, and feels common/rote to most, it really DOESN'T HELP YOU to make adjustments and decisions that move you forward in your life.
Ughhhh. . .
An internal mindset is one that takes responsibility for all the circumstances in their life – both good and bad.
People of this mindset believe that everything that is happening in their life is a result of the decisions they have made, taking full responsibility for the outcome.
To some people, this mindset seems completely scary and unhealthy! "How can you keep blaming yourself! Surly you feel like shit when things don't go 'right' and it's YOUR fault!"
However, the goal here is not to make you feel guilty, rather, to show you how much power you have over your life and how you create and manifest all aspects of your life. Good and bad.
DESPITE your 'conditioning'.
Conditioning of how you were raised; by whom you were raised; the environment you grew up in; the environment you are currently in; the good-the-bad-the-ugly of what SHOULD be happening in your life; . . . I think you get the picture.
Are you a product of your circumstances or are you a product of your decisions?
It's a tough question to ask of yourself, isn't it?
But think about it.
Sit back and really take in the evidence of your life up and until now.
Are you doing what you want?
Are you with the people you want to be with?
Are you living a life you love living?
This week's podcast is about life happening when we're making other plans. Our discussion weaves many other aspects of life during circumstances [seemingly] out of our control.
I have been making the shift from some external mindset language to an internal mindset language.
In my quest for self-care, self-expression, and where I fit in it all, I've uncovered my external mindset evidence. I can also understand how easy it is to 'blame' circumstances that seem out of our control.
I'm working on deepening and defining my internal mindset. I realize that I must design the life I want to live and remember that I am in control.
It will impose on my fears; my boundaries; self-esteem; vulnerability; you name it! ALL that reflects . . . ME!
I reframed to: What you accomplish matters far less than WHO you become! And I am responsible for it all!
For me, that feels better. That sounds better to my core.
And I am making my adjustments for MY life.
So I ask again . . . Are you a product of your CIRCUMSTANCES or are you a product of your DECISIONS?
I'd love to hear what you have to say!
I am not my sister's keeper, I am my sister.
p. s. I invite you to also join the discussion of this week's podcast: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans! We also have a post-production conversation and is posted on Facebook.
And We want to hear from you! Feedback is a beautiful thing!