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What if the problem ISN'T you?

Well, What if??

Haven't we all felt the pain that comes from telling ourselves we're going to do something to improve our lives, but then seeing months or years later that we are still living the same life and that not much has changed? It's easy to get down on yourself or think we don't have what it takes. It's easy to think that the problem is you!

What if the problem isn't you?

What if the problem is that you haven't had the support, or the awareness to change the 'mindset' inside of you that determines how much success and ease you experience in life?

Very few people consciously 'install' their mindset. It's something that's installed FOR us as we grow up – by observing what our parents say, or don't say. The way they live their lives. What our friends say, or even what we hear from the media.

Before long, we have a pretty solid 'mindset' about what we can be, what we can do and how much success we can have. And, depending on the model, what love and happiness is supposed to look like.

Take the meme I chose for this blog post.

Not to offend or mock, but – What if?

What if "Happily ever after" ...fade to black doesn't end there? No one ever spoke about that!

But now that 'Happily ever after' suggestion has been delivered to our mindset and has established a setting, a set point if you will, on our thermostat.

So, what if these relationships end up 'not so happily ever after'?

Guess what, that's okay.

What's not okay is measuring yourself up to the standard, the expectation of what you thought you were supposed to be measured against! This 'happy ending' thing. Or whatever the thing. But you didn't see that in the movies. Not back when. Afterall, how do you feel going to a movie with a shitty ending? So, as a result, you don't talk about your shitty life – your measurement, not mine.

As we grow up, we are exposed to a myriad of movies, TV shows, magazine articles, comic books, novels, photos, etc... and now there's Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and, the so-called 'reality' shows – the list seems endless. And since it is left to our own interpretation, our imagination, we may end up to see the world better for everyone else, except me. We set our measurements. Our standards. Our expectations.

As we go through life, we start to notice that there are those who have more success, more freedom, more fun, more love, more of everything than we've been having. We wonder if we can also have more fun, freedom, success and love. We set a goal and try our best to attain it, but more often than not, we find ourselves stuck in the same place. It's as if somone has set the bar on how much we are allowed to experience and achieve. We set the 'thermostat' of our lives, without even knowing it.

That someone is you.

I remembered seeing a little plaque in a small novalty shop in Montauk, NY, that said "What if the Hokey Pokey isn't what its all about?" (are you singing yet?)

Well that just cracked me up. Oh man, the shit that gets stuck in our heads!

So how do you shift your mindset and pry yourself loose? How do you turn UP the thermostat to your life?

First, you have to take a look at your past failures. Our failures are just feedback. So –take a deep, deep breath and say "That was then, this is now. When you know better, you do better."

Next, consider some goal that you have. It can be a relationship goal; a health goal; a career goal; or whatever you are considering. Pick a goal that you've had before but didn't attain because you put it off; you quit; procrastination got in the way or because you didn't think you had what it took to achieve it. Whatever the reason.

The value of any goal isn't for the attainment – the achievement (although that's nice), but for the growth that happens within you as you stretch from someone who cannot achieve a goal, to someone who can.

Notice that once you decide on a goal, that resistance voice comes creeping in. The one that tells you all the reasons why you CAN'T have what you want. This is your 'upper limit' setting. The voice that keeps your thermostat stuck on living the life you've been living, even though you want more. You want to have more freedom and flow in your life. It is in that moment when that voice of resistance and fear kicks in that you answer back, "I'll talk to you later. Right now I'm focused on being the woman/man who goes and gets what I want!"

Then do something powerful. Sit down and write three baby-steps that you can do in just 5 minutes to achieve your goal.

Ohhh boy, resistance will fight you BIG time and tell you that baby-steps are bullshit and are NOT enough and WILL NOT get you anywhere, but that's NOT TRUE!

Remember, that's fear and resistance doing their job. They want to keep you stuck. Stuck is a setting and feels more comfortable. They also want to see just how bad you want this thing you want so bad!

Now as soon as you accomplish those three steps, write down three more steps to take. And so on and so on.

If you do this, I promise you that within just 2–4 weeks, you will find your 'normal' has changed. You'll feel better about yourself. Your sense of confidence will improve. Consistancey gets rewarded. (I know you have proven this in at least one part of your life so far.)

Everyone has this opportunity. Everyone. There is no one person who gets more than 24 hours in a day. Everyone has the same 1,440 minutes each day. There is no one person who has more potential than any one of us. If they are more successful, it's because they have more awareness about themselves and the tools to turn that potential into results. They use baby-steps as their tools. And now you, too, have these simple tools to turn your potential UP.

If you're ready to start the journey towards your greatest life, the life you dream, and get clarity on your dream to create the circumstances that turns that dream into reality, I would love to help!

Make the decision that will move you forward.

Click 'Contact' and reach out to me. We'll get on a call and figure it all out.

We will do it all together. It will be less scary that way!

Here's to your success.

Much love,



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