When is the last time you were in touch with the inner child who's in you?
Have you been asked that lately....or ever?
This is a topic I've been recently researching.
Getting in touch with the inner child.
So many of us may be searching for answers . . . or NOT. . . and the answers can be found by going back to the very beginning.
When we didn't know what we didn't know.
Carrying this unhealed cargo is getting heavier and heavier as the years pile on and that inner child remains a mute.
It gets in the way, everyday, in some way or another.
We've just been so used to these familiar feelings . . .
These familiar patterns . . .
They've been a part of us for SO LONG, it feels comfortable in the discomfort of it all!
Yes, quite the conundrum indeed!
Ask someone to 'skip around like they're five years old, like you don't pay bills!'
'Dance with reckless abandon!!'
And they look at you like you just went fruit loops!
Who can remember that??
Five??? That was like.... forever ago!
*sigh*
Inner child work is in one way detective work.
We have a mystery to solve.
Questions like:
Why have I have I been attracted to the the type of people that I have been in relationship with in my life?
Why do I react in certain ways in certain situations?
Where did my behavior patterns come from? These paradigms?
Why do I sometimes feel so: helpless; lonely; desperate; scared; angry; suicidal . . . Just starting to ask these types of questions, is the first step in the healing process.
It is healthy to start wondering about the cause and effect dynamics in our life and why you are, or are NOT, on the path of any of the dreams you had for yourself!
When we were 3 or 4 we couldn't look around us and say:
"Well, Dad's a drunk and Mom is real depressed and scared - that is why it feels so awful here. I think I'll go get my own apartment." Even though a hypothetical comment here, fill in your own blanks . . . whatever your circumstances . . .
Everybody's got some 'thing'. . .
Whatever the 'thing' is . . . dysfunction is dysfunction.
The enigma here. . . our parents were our higher powers.
We were not capable of understanding that they might have problems that had nothing to do with us.
So it felt like it was our fault. We formed our relationship with ourselves and with life in early childhood.
We may have learned about love from people who were not capable of loving in a healthy way because of their unhealed childhood wounds.
Talk about"shit rolls downhill!"
Our core/earliest relationship with our self was formed from the feeling that something is wrong and it must be me.
At the core of our being is a little kid who believes that he/she is unworthy and unlovable.
That was the foundation that we built our concept of "self" on.
Damn! Children are master manipulators.
That is their job - to survive in whatever way works.
We don't know that consciously, but we know it, instinctively.
So when life took on these feelings that did NOT feel 'good' we adapted defense systems to protect our broken hearts and wounded spirits.
The 4 year old learned to throw tantrums, or be real quiet, or help clean the house, or protect the younger siblings, or be cute and funny, or . . .
Then we got to be 7 or 8 and started being able to understand cause and effect and use reason and logic - and we changed our defense systems to fit the circumstances.
Then we reach puberty! Oh boy! We didn't even have a clue what was happening to us, let alone get guidance from a healthy adult to help us understand!
So, we adapted our defense systems to protect our vulnerability.
And then we were teenagers and our job was to start becoming independent and prepare ourselves to be adults so we changed our 'defense' systems yet again. It is not only dysfunctional, it is ridiculous to maintain that what happened in our childhood did not affect our adult life.
I mean, really?
When and how did we EVER talk about it, much less try to course adjust a misguided ship!
We have layer upon layer of denial, emotional dishonesty, buried trauma, unfulfilled needs, etc., etc.
Our hearts were broken, our spirit's wounded, our minds programmed, conditioned. . . dysfunctionally.
The choices we have made as adults were made in reaction to our childhood wounds/conditioning/programming.
Our lives have been dictated by our wounded inner children.
Am I saying this is EVERYONE who is walking this earth . . . to a greater or lesser degree, yes.
So I ask you . . . to ask yourself . . .
Is it getting in the way of you living the life you love living?
Is it getting in the way of your relationships with your spouse, family, friends or co-workers?
Is it getting in the way of you functioning in life on a day to day basis?
It will ALWAYS mask itself to hide you from opening up these wounds.
'Leave me alone . . . NOTHING to see here!'
'Keep it moving people, keep it moving!'
Again I will ask . . .
How's that workin' for ya?
You decide.
It is very important to start waking up to the truth that there is nothing inherently wrong with our being.
It is our relationship with our self and with life that is dysfunctional.
And that relationship was formed in early childhood. The way that you begin any inner child healing is simply to become aware. Become aware that life is cause and effect. Become aware that our relationship with our self is dysfunctional. Become aware that we have the power to change our relationship with our self. Become aware that we were programmed with false beliefs about the purpose and nature of life in early childhood - and that we can change that programming. Become aware that we have emotional wounds from childhood and that it is possible to get in touch with and heal enough to stop them from dictating how we are living our life today.
That is the purpose of inner child healing - to stop letting our experiences of the past dictate how we respond to life today.
It cannot be done without revisiting our childhood. We need to become aware, to raise our consciousness.
To create a new level of consciousness for ourselves that allows us to observe ourselves. A detective always looks at cause and effect.
By becoming a detective, solving the mystery of why we have lived our lives as we have, we can start to free ourselves from our past.
By doing the inner child healing, we can start to learn how to really be alive and THRIVE instead of just merely surviving and enduring.
I know, I know.... UGH!!
"I'm GOOD!"
"I'm FINE!"
"Let's just leave it alone, I'll be OK..."
Sound familiar?
Hmmmm....
How's that workin for ya??
Anything is possible.
Never give up.
Raise you hand and reach out to me if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
We can do this together and finally get to the path you were destined for, the path you dream of.
There are no victims here.
Only awakened procrastinators.
So let's just do it!
Make the decision that will move you forward.
Click 'Contact' and reach out to me. We'll get on a call and figure it all out.
Get living a life you will love living.
A life you will be proud to have designed, and more importantly . . . ignited!
So this is my loving spirit, reaching out to your loving spirit to say . . .
You are now put on notice . . .
YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!
xo
With much love,
Lucia