Hello, my kindred spirit!
For as long as I can remember, I couldn't wait to get married, and – within the natural progression of things – have kids!
That maternal bug had spoken to me at such a young age, and naturally, fit in with the conditioning of the world.
I didn't notice or even call it 'conditioning'. . . I just wanted a family.
Was I prepared?
I thought I was!
How hard could it be anyway?
Well, if I knew THEN what I know NOW, things would surely have been different!
Don't get me wrong, I think I did a pretty damn good job as a 'Mother' (Dr. Spock, et al) but now that I've changed the way I look and feel about parenting, I would have done EVERYTHING differently!
My focus, my presence and my own 'participation' would have been much more centered on a positive spiritual and emotional connection with my  children.
Each one of them unique.
Each one having their own greatness to come into being.
Parental 'fear' and need to 'control' was the conditioning.
Passed down from generation to generation.
But it's not our fault.
We had role models, advice, pre-destined paths, and if your kids fell in line - socially, academically, behaviorally, etc. – you were [judged] doing a good job or bad job – depending - as a parent.
But darlin', when you know better, you MUST do better.
Every parent desires a close and connected relationship with their children.
But despite our greatest desires and intentions, this relationship is often filled with anxiety, struggle, and stress.
Instead of this relationship being joyful and empowered, it can become resentful and complex.
And despite the parent's best intentions, children often grow up feeling misunderstood and invalidated. They don't even realize they are being misunderstood or invalidated. They just feel 'icky'.
I [only recently] read that, as a parent, one of the greatest opportunities we have to offer is emotional guidance.
Emotional guidance every time it shows up.
I didn't read that in ANY book I was given on 'how to parent'.
I DID learn how to hold the thermometer and gently insert it into the baby's anus, but Emotional Guidance??? That was NOT in any chapter of ANY book I was given.
With our best intentions, we often invalidate the emotions and feelings by telling the child not to feel that way.
And we've all said that or are even still saying that.
We've all said it thinking that that was the best way to help the child. The best way to control the emotions showing up.
What we are essentially doing is teaching our kids not to trust their own emotions or instincts. Rather, I [parent] will be your barometer. I will tell you how to feel and why. (As I write these words I'm cringing!!)
We don't realize we are doing that, but that is EXACTLY what we are doing. And of course, that's what was done to us.
We have got to look at this in a different way.
Change the way we think and feel about it all.
Your children will THRIVE in who they are and who they are to become.
And now that I know this . . . I cannot – NOT know this!
The disconnect is heartbreaking for parents who want nothing more than the closest bond with their kids.
But all is not lost!
There is a way to transform your relationship with your child (and grand-children!) from disconnection to the greatest connection.
It requires a new perspective and a new way of engaging; through self-awakening and consciousness.
I was first introduced to Dr. Shefali Tsabary in an episode of Oprah's Super Soul Sessions.
Dr. Shefali's approach resonated with me in such a profound way.
It just made TOTAL sense!
She offers a new perspective for parents that allows them to release their fears and need to control. After all, nothing has a more toxic effect on our children than the projection of our own needs, control, and anxieties.
Dr. Shefali explains to parents how to extinguish their commonly-placed fears and transform them into tools for greater connection and liberation.
Connection over Correction.
This book will explain to you, as a parent, how to free yourself from negative interactions with your child and begin a more positive spiritual and emotional connection with them.
***** I give it 5 stars!!!*****
If you are a parent, this is a MUST READ.
You will begin to understand how and why our children trigger us and how this triggering will make positive changes in both your life and your child's life.
This is why I get so passionate about this book! It helps by explaining how and why our children TRIGGER US and how WE grow in OUR own lives.
That's why I say I birthed my teachers!
We first heal our own emotional 'baggage' and raise ourselves into an elevated state of awareness BEFORE we raise our children.
And – it's never too late.
If you are a parent, please read this book. Please, please, please!
It is profound and life-changing.
It is our future.
And it is you who will be found!
I now go to every baby shower I get invited to with a box of diapers and this book – The Conscious Parent.
I'm only promoting this from my own passion and desire to pay-it-forward!
After all, we are a tribe, and I take that very seriously.
I can lend guidance and support to you on how to navigate these new parenting skills. You can contact me here and we can find some voice-to-voice time to help get you started! Remember, we're in this together!
I want to also encourage you to listen to this week's podcast entitled: Stress, Doubt, and Parenting where Allison Sutter and I share our thoughts on the matter! (New Episodes drop every Tuesday!)
Let me know how it feels as you lean it to it all – your input and feedback are ALWAYS appreciated, so let me know!
p.s. If this resonates with you and if you know a parent/grand-parent. . . or an expecting parent/grand-parent please pass this along. Email and share!
Share your stories to help inspire another 'tribe' member!